Surgery

I suppose I should write about my heart surgery. Friday I woke up at 6am and went to the hospital. They put me in a gown and booties and made me sit on a temporary bed until 8am when my surgery was supposed to start. To make the time go by faster, I took pictures and talked to Mary, because Mary is always awake at the crack of dawn.

Personally, I think this picture is adorable on the verge of nauseating. My eyes remind me of that Japanese girl on Youtube who stares at you for entire videos. Anyway, then they came in and decided they needed to give me an IV and draw blood. Except that I’m so small my veins refuse to come out and cooperate so they put the IV in my hand. Needless to say they got their blood. And so did the bedsheets.

At about 8am they came in to take me to the operating room. They laid me on a gurney and rode me around the hospital. This was the part that scared me the most. It was like a bad amusement park ride. I kept passing by all these people waving at me and doors were automatically opening for me and it was just creepy as shit. The operating room was way in the back of this hallway that reminded me of a janitors closet and the temperature in there was below 0. Or so it felt to me because I was wearing a gown. A bunch of nurses came and covered me in patches to attach the heart monitors to, but they had a hard time fitting them all onto my tiny body so they had to keep adjusting them. Mind you these patches were also freezing. Finally they gave me about 6 blankets and a heating blanket because I was shaking. And then Dr. V came. Dr. V was my anesthesiologist. He was a tiny Asian man and all I could understand him say was, “Are you 100% certain you aren’t pregnant?” and “I’m going to give you some happy juice now.” The happy juice was amazing. After that, I was out.

I woke up at noon with a mighty urge to pee. Except I couldn’t. My bladder was screaming “Empty me!” but my body refused to let me go. I wasn’t allowed to sit up or really elevate myself in any way. So I laid in agony on top of a bedpan for an hour. They took me back into my temporary room and let me rest. Mom decided to go home and take a nap and at 3pm she would come back with Mike. Finally, after hours of straining, I peed. And it was the most glorious pee I’ve ever experienced. I will never take a toilet for granted again. Ahem. At that point, I decided to take a nap because I was so groggy from the happy juice.

I woke up at 4pm because, oh hey, I had to pee again. Except this time the nurse let me walk to the bathroom. Hoho. I snuck into my purse to get my DS and played that for a while, talking to Dawn and Mike as the day went on. Oh yes, at some point, I realized that my vagina was orange. So Dawn and Cam decided to start calling me Oompapoon. I’ll probably never live it down.

Mom and Mike came back at about 6pm. By then, they had moved me to a permanent bed and given me dinner. Dinner consisted of a rubber potato, rubber chicken, asparagus, and … chocolate ice cream. I ate the ice cream Mike brought me chicken strips, fries, and a shake from Carls. Om nom nom. He sat on my bed with me and we watched CSI together until 8pm when mom decided to go home. So I was left alone to sleep in this weird hospital bed, which actually wasn’t very hard. I slept pretty well other than the fact that the nurses woke me up every two hours to take my blood pressure, temperature, check my heart monitor, and at one point take my blood. Fucking vampires. At 7am my surgeon, Dr. Bridges, came in to tell me that I could go home whenever I was ready. So mom came and we left at about 10am. They finally took the IV out of my hand, and took the patches off my body. Then I went home and slept.

For the past few days I’ve done nothing but sleep and play Maple Story. My heart rate is still fast, and it probably will be for quite a while. My crotch hurts a lot when I walk. I took the bandages off my incisions and they actually aren’t that big, so I covered them with bandaids. All in all, the surgery was a success. I won’t have to take pills ever again. And I’m so happy Mike has been really wonderful. He’s been getting me whatever I need so I don’t have to move too much, and he helped me shower in case my legs gave out. :3 I loaf him. And I loaf everyone who cared enough to see how I was. Especially Kloey and Lizzie, for being ninjas and sneaking cupcakes into my refridgerator.

 

Dream 1

I was at my office after hours, so none of the other employees were there. Jeff was with me, because I think he had given me a ride. I was doing a stack of deposits when Mike showed up, popped his head through the window and started to yell at me for being alone with Jeff. I explained to him that Jeff had given a ride, and he settled down. He then asked Jeff if he wanted a ride home, and Jeff said no, I drove here. Mike explained to me that he had tried to get in through the garage but that there were a bunch of kids in there. So Jeff and I went to the garage to check it out. There were a bunch of chairs set up, and some bibles laying around, so I guess my boss was having a bible study for her daughter and her friends. I told Jeff that we should leave before anyone got back, but as we turned to leave Deborah (my boss) came into the garage. I decided to give her the stack of deposits I had finished. She started to yell at me, saying that I was supposed to give these deposits to Mike (some guy who works in the art department), but that made no sense to me, so I argued with her. She said that there should have been a pair of car keys with every deposit (WTF?) and that Mike needed these keys. I told her that my mom hadn’t given me any keys with the deposits, so Deborah and I started to look for the keys. We thought we had found them, but in actuality we had found a woman wearing a dress, with her bra straps hanging off her shoulders? Deborah said something like, “Sometimes when you put it in, it doesn’t come out the other side”. We decided to ask my mom where the keys could be. My mom was drunk, and when I asked where the keys were, she said, “Footprints? I put them away until your birthday.” And I yelled, “No, KEYS.” Suddenly I blacked out, as if I had fainted. I woke up to find that my arms were tied down. This man was hovering over me. Apparantly he was a family friend of mine named Victor, and seeing him made me feel better. Then my mom came over with a knife, went to cut the ropes holding my arms, and instead decided to try and cut my eyebrows off. So I took the knife from her and stabbed her in the chest, twisting the knife as I did so. But this didn’t seem to phase her. She laughed and said, “You don’t get to kill me. I have to kill you. You have to lose me.” And I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be more painful for me to lose you if I had to kill you?” And then I woke up crying. Now that I re-read this, I can’t stop laughing.

 

Money Problems

Today I found out from my mom that I need to pay her an extra $60 for the cell phone bill because T-Mobile cancelled and reset our account and that’s how much they charged. The reason for this is because for some unknown fucking reason, my tmobile.com account changed my status to primary account holder. This prevented my mom from paying the bill from her own phone. She blames me for it. What she doesn’t understand is that I’ve had a tmobile.com account for over a year, from before we started our new contract with Mike. Something must have happened when my information was carried over. But apparantly customer service at T-Mobile doesn’t care, and mom still thinks it’s my fault, so I’m stuck pulling an extra $60 out of my ass. Normally I wouldn’t care, but I’m trying to come up with $200 to pay for Mike’s car insurance. His grandma has agreed to send him $200, so together we would pay off his bill for 6 months. And within that 6 months, I could easily come up with another $400 for the next 6 months. And so on an so forth. Now that I have to pay my mom, I can’t do that. So Mike has to wait even longer. And during all this waiting, Mike’s car is sitting out on the street with no tags, because you can’t get tags without proof of auto insurance. Yay for getting screwed by the system.

My mom is playing bingo on the other computer, and whenever the guy announces a number she doesn’t need, she says “Sonofabitch.” Really? Is that really necessary? It’s fucking bingo. Calm down.

My grandma seems to be doing okay. She went to the doctor on Thursday and they told her that she shouldn’t go back to work or drive, and that she needs to exercise more because she isn’t getting enough oxygen. I talked to my boss and she told me that if my grandma doesn’t come back to work, the job is mine. That made me feel loads better. I was honestly a little worried that they’d use me until they got an answer and then hire someone else.

I should probably be watching Naruto and getting rid of some of the episodes that are eating up storage space, but I ended on a good point and I don’t want to ruin that. I miss Kakashi-sensei. I don’t miss Sasuke. Seriously, that kid needs to die. Actually, I’ll probably go grind for Pokke points in Monster Hunter. I need to upgrade my farm. But treasure and gathering quests are so tedious, and I only get about 2000 points per quest, and I need at least 20,000. Nghhgs’babkaba.

Mike has been getting more hours at work. Some kid named Anthony skipped work, and the next day left his 2 weeks notice on a receipt in the drawer. Jose didn’t find it until closing. And then he skipped work again yesterday, so Jose’s probably just going to fire the kid. Also, this kid Tyler who works there is getting fired. Probably because he’s a complete idiot. Some lady came in and asked him about a game he had never heard of before, so he just said, “Ummm…” for about 30 seconds. There are so many people working there who don’t have any motivation or knowledge. Why work at GameStop if you know nothing about games? Or worse, if you don’t even play games? Luckily for Mike, he knows anything and everything about video games, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get more hours at his job. Which is why he’s being rewarded, and everyone is still at 10 hours a week or less.

That pretty much sums it up. Mike should be getting off in about 30 minutes, which means Chris will be coming over to play Monster Hunter. Harooh!

 

Obaasan

So basically, the only thing I can seem to think about tonight is my grandma. When she was hospitalized for her rapid heart rate, they said it wasn’t a heart attack or stroke. So they started to put her on different medications. And so far she just keeps getting worse. Her movement is slow, she’s forgetting and misplacing things, and she’s slurring her words. She can hardly stand to go to church for a few hours. Tonight, she got sick again so my aunt came and got her. She has a doctors appointment in the morning… They’ve been talking about putting a pacemaker in her, but only as a last resort. I think that we’ve reached that point.

I never thought that either of my grandma’s would really degenerate mentally. I just figured they would grow old and their bodies would give out. Or maybe that’s just what I’d hoped for. When my great-grand uncle died, I didn’t cry. I didn’t really even feel sad, and I don’t ever really regret his death. He was practically a grandfather to me, considering I never had one. Why is it that when I see an animal in pain, I fall apart, yet when someone I know dies, I feel nothing? When my mom’s best friend died, a woman who had babysat me and watched me grow up, I didn’t cry. I held my mom and told her I was sorry. I wonder how I would react if I lost my grandma. I’m afraid to find out. Not because I don’t want to cry, or miss her. I just don’t want to feel nothing like I have every other time. I would hate myself so much if I couldn’t mourn the loss of my own grandmother.

I’ve only seen her once since she was released from the hospital, and she seemed fine. But the worse she gets the harder it is for me to want to go see her. I know that it’s selfish, and I know I should get over it, but it’s hard. I don’t want to see her one day and have her forget who I am. But I also don’t want to not say goodbye. I have the chance, and I need to take it. I need to be there for her right now, but I can’t. Because it hurts too much…

 

Omgosh Hooray

So I finally decided to get off my lazy ass and make some sort of online journal. Since LiveJournal seems to have died, and the only person I know who uses a journal is Dawn, I made a WordPress :3 I’m going to try really hard to use this at least twice a week. I’ve been having some pretty intense dreams that I’d like to jot down. And for some reason I always catch myself thinking up things to write down, but sadly they remain as thoughts. So let’s work on changing that shall we?

In news that slightly interests me, some guy named Doug Thompson is publicly calling John McCain a racist. Now this article may be completely inaccurate. After all, John McCain does have an adopted daughter from Bangladesh. But that’s not the point. The point is that millions of internet users have seen this article. And those millions of people are also aware of the fact that John McCain is an idiot. So things aren’t looking too good for Johnny boy right now. Maybe the next time someone asks you what America’s gas prices are like, you should know the answer. Maybe you shouldn’t talk about delivering bottled hot water to dehydrated babies. Sometimes I think that McCain is more of an idiot than Bush. Oh wait. That’s not possible.

In an effort to suck less at life, I’m going to start being a better person. What could possibly motivate me to do such a thing when I’ve put it off for 18 years? Simply put, Mike will leave if I don’t get my shit together. Not because he doesn’t love me, but because we can’t afford to live like this off his income alone. And I keep skipping work because I just want to go back to sleep. And I need to stop. If I were working 24 hours a week, I’d be pulling in about $850 a month. Right now, Mike makes about $400 a month. His income isn’t enough to pay my mom, the internet, and his car insurance bills. So I need to get my shit together and contribute. Also, I need to call on the 13th about finishing high school. Then, in Spring, I can maybe enroll in college.  This is only a maybe, because I don’t know how long I’ll have this job.

Speaking of this job, it may become permanent. The chances of my grandma coming back to work are slim to none, so hopefully Deborah will hire me in her place. After all, I am the only person who really knows how to do her job. And hopefully if I did get the job, I could have more than 24 hours a week. Then I could start saving my money for things I actually need. Like clothes. I haven’t bought a new piece of clothing in months. Most of my shirts are too short, or have holes in them. Hooray for being poor.

I can’t wait for My Japanese Coach to come out. That game is going to consume hours of my life. And it teaches you how to write. It probably won’t be too vast, but it’s a start. I really wish I could get ahold of that Rosetta Stone torrent Adam found. But alas, it was on Demonoid, and I don’t have a Demonoid account. Nrgh. I just want to learrrn.

People make me sick. Who the fuck throws a six week old kitten out of a car window at 65 miles an hour? Luckily for the little guy, people have raised enough money for him to have his surgery. He’s going to be okay :] My belief in humanity has been raised slightly.